Apparently, hundreds of these guys were stomping around from the mid-1990s to the early 2000s. They were hitting 500-foot homers and throwing 95-mph fastballs. Yet the struggling Twins couldn't land a single one. What a joke.

"I'm not touching that," Twins general manager Bill Smith said.

What's the big deal? You get a steroid guy, he hits 40 homers, and later, when he gets caught, he says he's sorry about his lapse in judgment. As long as he doesn't commit perjury, there's no problem. And it's pretty tough to commit perjury after former President Bill Clinton raised the bar so high by tap dancing around various definitions of, uh, personal relationships.

In fact, the former president used what we now can call the Supplement Defense, later adopted by Juan Rincon, among many others: "Gee, it was so easily available. How was I supposed to know I was doing something wrong?"

Look at Alex Rodriguez. After he got caught, he made it a point to give an emotional apology. Nothing is going to happen to him. But at least now we know why he couldn't keep his hands off of an old bag like Madonna. The juice must have had long-term consequences. Meanwhile, Miguel Tejada is facing perjury charges but today is expected to cop a plea. He likely won't get more than a slap on the wrist.

The Twins definitely were behind on the steroid curve. I asked Bill Smith if the subject of chemical abuse came up when the front office evaluated players during those prime steroid years.

"We tried to do as much background work as we could on every player," he said somewhat hesitatingly. "That included the physical, his makeup, certain stats, what kind of a teammate he would be ..."

So the Twins tried to weed out the steroid abusers?

"We're headed down to Florida tomorrow," he said.

I'll take that as a "leave me alone." Well, I'd be embarrassed, too, if I were part of a front office that couldn't land one decent juiced-up power hitter. Smith and Terry Ryan shouldn't have been looking to avoid them. They should have been looking to embrace them. Every player who admitted using is off the hook. They get to keep all their money and eye-popping records. And their employers get to keep all their postseason trophies.

It's not as if the ballclub didn't bring in steroid users. But when it did, those players either were off the juice or washed up.

Remember Rondell White? Rondell may have been the nicest fellow I ever met in Baseball. He also left a paper trail of seven checks written for steroid purchases, according to the Mitchell Report. He spent two seasons with the Twins, during which he hit a composite .228 and then retired.

Bret Boone never has been formally accused of using steroids. But he was a primary figure in Jose Canseco's tell-all book on the subject. After being acquired down the stretch in 2005, Boone hit .170 for Minnesota.

According to the Mitchell Report, Howie Clark was said to have bought human growth hormone four or five times. Acquired later by the Twins, he appeared in just four games.

The Twins brought admitted steroid user Armando Rios to spring training a couple of years ago. He didn't come close to earning a spot on the team.

That's the Twins: a dollar short and a day late.

Some Twins became involved with steroids after leaving the team. Chuck Knoblauch, Chad Allen, Matt Lawton and J.C. Romero have all been implicated. In fact, Romero, now of the champion Phillies, will have to serve a 50-game suspension at the start of this season. He used the Supplement Defense, saying he bought stuff over the counter and didn't know it contained a banned substance.

Rincon is the only Twin I know to have been implicated while here. He, too, used the Supplement Defense, but he hasn't been the same since his suspension.

Anyway, the Twins really missed out. There are a lot of steroid guys who have muttered an apology and moved on. Players such as Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield still are performing at a decent level. They probably could have been Twins back in the day, supplying much-needed power.

But the Twins didn't ride the steroid wave. It turned out to be a big mistake. After all, a few crocodile tears and a promise to do better is all it takes to get a guy home free.

Clearly the Twins messed up.

Tom Powers can be reached at tpowers@pioneerpress.com